Dear Alienator,
I dont know you, well not really, but I do know about you.
I know that you have a serious problem with sharing your child with thier other parent, I know that you tell everyone what a terrible person your ex is to justify your actions, and I know you've told your child on several occasions that thier other parent is 'No good'. You were probably so used to controlling your ex during you relationship, that now that he/she has left you, the only way you can control her/ him is through your child.
YOU, my friend, have a problem. Whether you are male or female, it doesn't make a difference. If you are withholding contact from your child's other parents because of your own selfish reasons, and your inability to control your own hatred toward your ex- partner, you are a child abuser!
You are affecting your child right now as you read this! C'mon... How long has it been that your child has seen his/her other parent?
Just so that you know... we are on to you! We are learning more and more about people like you, who manipulate the court, lie and resort to the evil "what-ever it takes" attitude, just to be the one who has the control. Yes- we know all about you! The courts are becomming more aware of parents like you, too.
You've probably accused your ex partner of child abuse, of being mentally unstable, of violence, permiscious behaviour.... Scary how much we know about you already, isn't it?
Perhaps we should let YOU know something about us! NCMA and groups like us, are fighting everyday, to have child abusers like yourself, recognised and held accountable for your actions. Society may respect you now (because you've told them how you've done everything possible to ensure the safety of your child, no matter the costs to you), but friends, family and society will eventually catch on to what you are doing, and when they do.... LOOK OUT!
There will no longer be anyone for you to turn to... a bit like it must be for your ex partner right now.... you will lose ALL your friends, except maybe those who are control freaks like you. Teachers will secretly dispise you, your family will assume they did something wrong in the way in which they raised you, and your child.... he/she will find it VERY difficult to forgive you when the truth does come out. Beleive me when I say: The child WILL eventually know what you've done.
It's up to you.... do you want to be this kind of person? Do you want your own child to turn against you? Do you want to be known as the 'selfish control freak? Do you want to sleep better at night?
After reading this, I hope that you know what you have to do... you need to do 'what-ever it takes' to re-establish that relationship between the other parent and your child. Dont be afraid that your child wont love you as much as your ex.... (we also know that that's one of your geatest fears!) children love thier parents equally, they don't wish to be separated from either of you. Put your own selfish agenda to the side, and really focus on your child's needs. Your child needs BOTH parents!
Please take this as your (and your child's) first step toward recovery. You CAN make it better, you CAN undo the bad. It may take some time, but you have the power. You already know how powerful you can be- just use that power for GOOD this time 'round.
Freedom Fighter
Founder of NCMA
Non Custodial Mothers Australia
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'Those who deny the freedom of others, deserve it not for themselves'- Abraham Lincoln
